I have been fighting frustration for the past few months, undoubtedly it has put me in some really ugly moods.
Can I testify!
For starters, right now, I’m in a place in my life where
To be much further ahead in life.
You know things a typical 30 year old would aspire to: owning, investing, working in my choice career field, executing my own business plan, having a family of my own; at least being married! Well what can I say? I do not even have a boyfriend.
Not only do I have to deal with the pressure coming from my parents, my siblings, family and friends and people who have not seen me since I was like 10 years old. They apparently, also thought I would be further ahead in life.
After a while, you have to laugh at the irony.
Ultimately, I have learned that it is better to focus on what you can control, than to focus on what you cannot.
Can I control having a boyfriend, of course I can, but I have a word from God which does not allow me to. So there goes that.
Can I control having enough money? Somewhat but I also have rent, bills and school loans to pay off; so the situation starts to get sticky.
I have a business plan, but I have to figure out how to get a couple hundred grand to work it out. Sounds stressful doesn’t it.
I know. I was allowing it, the frustration, to get the best of me.
I am guilty.
I was downtrodden.
I wanted to disappear from the face of the earth, each and every single time I went through it.
I would huff and puff, then cry from the rage of anger inside of me. And eventually I would shut down, in complete silence. Sometimes you don’t have the etiquette to be around people when you are in it, much less do you feel like talking.
I even started to get mad at God.
I was so frustrated, that I got mad at myself, God and even at other people’s success.
And the irony of that was (after careful observation and repentance) I questioned myself! I came to myself!
could I be mad at other people’s success if we don’t even have the same desires or goals, we don’t even share the same work ethic or mind processes. I certainly did not want their life, or their blessed.
So I then considered myself;
I thought “Well this has me feeling frustrated, and it is not good for your health, Frances, much less is it good for your to do list. Because remember you have greater responsibilities, than to sit around in your feelings!!”
Needless to say that little peptalk, brought me back to my senses. I had never stopped to address this IT I was going through.
The real problem did not lie in the emotion, but in my attitude towards it. I thought it was okay to live with (it) frustration.
The things with learned emotions is that, they become like brothers and sisters, roomates even. You notice they come in and out, but barely take time to sit, talk and resolve problems. Emotions like stress, anger and frustration are a family; and they work so smoothly to even fool the best of is. See, the thing with stress is that it is the fuel that makes us work, because it sparks us into action. Anger makes us driven, because anger is undirected passion and energy. And frustration, is the ticking time bomb, inhaling and exhaling, tired of the old, waiting for a time to explode (make a move).
Yes. Emotions are powerful. But not to an undisciplined mind.
Remember, I was resorting to frustration for a few months now; if not years. I would like to be completely transparent and share with you all the consequences of feeding into the feeling of frustration.
Frustration works in a cycle, it is not alone. It has family and friends. I found this wonderful quote by one of the greatest, Dale Carnegie.
So in essence we get all worked up by family friend frustration, to do nothing with cousin worry and do some murmuring and complaining with uncle resentment. Can anybody say TIRED! EXHAUSTED! FATIGUED!
LORD HAVE MERCY.
So after coming to myself, in prayer and meditation… which led me to repentance and vowing to stop putting myself through (it) such nonsense… I got back on board with an attitude of gratitude and with a plan. I had to face the facts and swallow the truth. I did not plan to be here, but I can plan to get out of this. For starters I can change all that is under my immediate control. Even if feels tedious, and painful.
I decided to change my view, my perception. By the grace of God’s power I was helped. God is neither a magic trick nor a potion, faith takes work: a decision and commitment.
My graduation from John Jay College in Culture and Deviant Studies, is in one month. Thank you God.
I may not have the dream job, I hope to have but I do have income. Thank you God.
I may not have a husband or kids, but I am reinventing and perfecting my character daily. Thank you God for the bible, and all the secular resources available to me.
I may have a lot of debt, but if I continue to learn about stocks, investment and the money market I am well on my way. Thank you God.
I may feel as if my life is passing me by, but I have decided to enjoy my loved ones and my talents. I am going to give dance, poetry and my writing skills 100% of a shot. And I will see where God takes me.
“Either Trust God, or be miserable.” Joyce Meyer
We have control over one thing, only one, and that is our mind.
We are body, soul and spirit. Everything comes from our soul: who we are, our thoughts, the decisions we make. Let’s honor our souls; let’s feed ourselves love, joy and peace. Treating your soul good, means treating your body good. One day I will write on the effects that stress has on our human body. It is so detrimental. But be good to your soul, your body will greatly appreciate it.
You can say, that is good for you, but how do I get frustration out of my life?
1. You must assess your emotions.
Is this feeling bringing about love, hope and faith? Or is this making me feel tense, discouraged or anxious?
2. Write out your frustration points (no money for babysitter, need a better job, etc). Come up with two ways to look at the situation: pros and cons.
– I hate my job, I need more money, I need a babysitter.
– Or I have a job, I can sacrifice eating out and shopping a little more, maybe I can pay someone to watch the kids, maybe I can get a second job while the kids are in school. Maybe i can be a stay at home mom, and babysit other kids in my neighborhood; that way I can make money as well. Maybe I can continue to apply for a better paying position, while I do that too.
Evaluate your options. Take time to look for the pros. What can YOU work around.
3. Write out your TO-DO List!
Sometimes while we are busy worrying, and being frustrated with life we neglect the things we have TO-DO.
Maybe you have procrastinating on writing that book you have always dreamt of writing. Maybe you haven’t visited your loved ones in a while, or even spoken to them over the phone. Maybe you have to do a garage sale or two. Maybe you can donate (weekly or monthly) some food or clothing, to a shelter around your way. Maybe you need to start a new work out routine, because your body needs more of your attention. The possibilities are endless.
4. Last but not least, change your perspective permanently by making a habit of your changes. Habits create change.
As Bob Proctor would say “Practice makes efficient.”