Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you. Luke 6:38
Your greatness is not what you have,
it’s what you give.
Jesus is our greatest example of love, of giving. I learned a valuable lesson through this friendship, and it was that people who do not know the need to sacrifice, are very dangerous people to engage in relationship with. She disagreed with me in terms of sacrifice and love. She refused to serve, but expected to be served. When I told her Jesus himself came to serve, not to be served, she was annoyed by me. This is normal, when you tell people the truth to confound their carnal understanding. She hated the word sacrifice, I remember I posted on Instagram : For my family, I sacrifice, and it was a problem between us. I asked her to serve in church, and she stated it was her time to be served. I don’t know what God had ministered to her, because God never contradicts His word- so as you can see we disagreed a lot. How dare we expect for church, or anyone else to serve us? It made it very obvious to me, after holding on to the relationship for very long, after a few bumps down the road that this person was spiritually inept. A Christian lacking understanding for God’s love, His ultimate sacrifice. God gave His only Son, so that we may be reconciled to Him, so that we may have live abundantly here on earth and live eternally in heaven. But He gave first.
Life is made up of Givers and Takers, we should only be givers. In friendships we need to be givers. A giver is a person who delights in providing in anyway: emotionally, financially, materially, physically, or spiritually. There are so many ways to give, even the thought is what counts. Because consideration and contribution is what makes the world go around. Businesses succeed in servicing, educational and medicinal institutions prosper because they serve others, military and special forces give to their people, the entire world is made up of givers.
Takers on the other hand, think of themselves at all times. They are self-focused and self pleasing, their mindset is that of “Me First!”. And although we should have value for ourselves, we should not be selfish and self consumed. There is very little or no consideration for others. This harms all relationships. It is the imbalance of someone always giving more by making more effort, thinking of how to please the other and holding on to a dead weight friendship. It is like fixing a plate for someone, but knowing you cannot make them eat it. Relationships like these are dead weight.
A taker is someone who likes to be around you because of your energy and for your company, but they have no desire to help you succeed- they are just bored and find that you entertain them. They take your energy, but do not deposit back into your account. Same as someone with money has friends while everything is good, but none when things get rocky. We need to be selective about our friendships.
I learned to give not because I have many, but because I know exactly how it feels to have nothing.
When we truly love others we should learn to compromise. Compromising means to deny yourself, and work for agreement in a certain matter with your friend or spouse. This is called sacrifice. To sacrifice is to give up something in order to gain or maintain something better, like a stable and happy relationship or a healthy weight, or a new car.
We learn to give, what we lack. This is a characteristics of compassion and emphatic people. From their hearts, they genuinely feel the need to give to others what they would desire, simply knowing the pain of experiencing lack.
- The word compassion in Latin comes from the word compati, which means to ‘suffer with.
- The word empathy in Greek is translated as ‘em- ‘in’ + pathos ‘feeling’”.
The mature follower of Jesus stops asking, “Who’s going to meet my needs?” and starts asking, “Whose needs can I meet?”
Father God today I come before you to ask for relief and encouragement, from those relationships which exhaust us. I pray for wisdom for each person involved, that they may change their hearts and mindset and put effort into the relationship. That you may give them a heart after yours, not a ‘what you do for me’ attitude, but a giving attitude. May you strengthen those of us who have been faithful, and do not see the harvest from the labor, may we not run weary. And may we also received wisdom and strategy to continue giving, even when it hurts. May we be selective in our friendships in Jesus name, Amen.