Devotional 6/13

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! 2 Corinthians 5:17

Have you left your “old self” behind for good?

I began my journey with God in my teens, but I didn’t give God my life until 2011. At first, I did all the doing and I was convinced I was a new creation in Christ. I went to church a million times a week, I deleted world music, I said no to drinking, I fasted a whole lot, I stopped having sex and dating, I memorized scripture, I was in prayer all day everyday, I rebuked sin when it was in my face… but I have learned that after a while reality begins to hit us again. After a while humans started getting on my nerves again and I started doing the things I did in my unconverted life. 

One night after hanging out with an old friend, I was waiting for the train, I was next to a female, in her early 30’s and she was extremely drunk. Because of my motherly instincts and God’s love, I felt the need to protect her. I began to pray; she was standing yet sleeping, and truly was out of it. I remember getting her on the train and standing in front of her because she was wearing a baby doll dress and was showing all her goodies. Pretty sloppy, while the perverts on the train loved it. I put on a Cindy Trimm prayer I had saved on my phone, and continued praying; she would wake up and dose off until I woke her up at the last stop. I gave her water, in attempts to keep her awake, and spoke to her about Jesus. She told me she was going to church, and told me about her struggles with her husband. I put her in a cab, and on my way back home the lord said to me: “if you choose that lifestyle, I will still be with you”. I started crying, and I feel God even as I write because I remember this day. It messed with me back then, because I missed that ‘fun, release stress’ lifestyle. 

Towards the end of that week, I went to Springfest: where Christian youth from the Eastern district, go for a weekend retreat. It was amazing, to say the least. God told me ‘I will never leave you”, and showed me a vision of  tombstones with the words ‘family’ and ‘husband’ on it. Undoubtedly I understood, that my family and future husband would leave me because death is inevitable, but GOD will never die, therefore never leave me. It was beautiful.

In my return from the trip, on Monday, with the stress of school and being limited to unemployment insurance, I smoked weed. When I smoked, it felt alright. My mind was racing, eventually I broke down and had a one on one with the Lord. It was amazing yet again, and Holy Spirit ministered to me that He loves me no matter what, even if I mess up, because His love for me is unconditional.

After a few months, I met an old friend who had been apart from God and was looking to reconcile. Slowly but surely, we started doing things from the old school: chilling, drinking, smoking. Even though I should’ve known better, I was headfirst into all the church gossip, lending my ear to nonsense and murmuring along with other people’s allegations and self willed observations. I witnessed the battles and struggles with sin and the old nature, not only my own but others within church. I felt my eyes were opened to things which already existed, yet I did not know about. My eyes were on God alone, but obviously they had drifted away from Him during this time. I learned that people are not comfortable talking about their own struggles with sin. And I concluded that this is one of the main reasons why people leave church, or live a secret life outside of church. It was obvious what was happening to me, I was moving from a spiritually minded person to a carnally minded person. Inside of me, there was a war raging in my soul and my body. One night before going to sleep, Holy Spirit  told me to read Galatians 5. And I did read it, to tell you the truth I was upset.

Galatians 5:19-21

  • People’s desires make them give in to immoral ways, filthy thoughts, and shameful deeds.  They worship idols, practice witchcraft, hate others, and are hard to get along with. People become jealous, angry, and selfish. They not only argue and cause trouble, but they are envious. They get drunk, carry on at wild parties, and do other evil things as well. I told you before, and I am telling you again: No one who does these things will share in the blessings of God’s kingdom. (CEV)

The believer is created anew; his heart is not merely set right, but a new heart is given him. He is the workmanship of God, created in Christ Jesus unto good works. Though the same as a man, he is changed in his character and conduct.
Matthew Henry

Let’s pray:

Lord Jesus, I lay naked before you simply giving to others the truth of my walk. I pray this ministers to somebody, and helps them to keep walking even if they fail you time and time again. May the new heart you have given us continue to instruct us and counsel us in godliness, and righteousness. May we receive greater wisdom and discernment to walk us through this journey with you. May we see you as the Holy God that you are, and desire to be like you along with dealing with the inner frustrations that are caused by the flesh’s desires. May you continue to cover us, and hide us. In Jesus name, Amen. 

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