But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery. Matthew 5:32
People don’t like love, they love the glittery flattery feeling. They don’t love love, love is sacrificial, love is ferocious, it’s not emotive. It wants the emotion without paying anything for it.
In the beginning God created man and woman, Adam and then Eve. If we look into the scriptures we realize that the Bible does not speak of dating, courting or getting to know anybody. He created Adam, and thought ‘it’s not good for Man to be alone’. Adam had God, a home, animals and work to tend to, but he was still alone. Why then does God allow us to spend seasons of aloneness? Ofcourse I want to answer this for you… it’s the condition of our hearts which He is after!
The Bible speaks about marriage, where two flesh become one: people have then interpreted this as God constituting marriage as a covenant or promise between two persons. If you think about it, we become one with whoever we have sex with. We become one flesh with people, and this is as spiritual as it is carnal. Many of us are single, because we are still spiritually knit to a few people (soul ties), have hardened hearts (self centered) or hearts filled with lust (desire). This does not mean that those who are married, do not have these complications in their hearts, it only means that God wants us to deal with our heart conditions before entering marriage. He’s looking out for us, for His own glory.
God says that we are not to divorce, and that we are in adultery when we marry a divorced person! The Bible constitutes marriage using the phrases “knew her”, “went into her”. Today we believe that being married is having a big ceremony and saying a few vows is to get married, but the Bible says having sexual intimacy (penetration to be exact) makes us one with another. And if this is so, then many of us have been married many times.
Once we come into this unison with someone else, it is not in the heart of God that we divorce. But because we are selfish and self absorbed individuals, the world has taught us to move on to the next if this one is not meeting our needs and fulfilling our expectations. Following the ways of the world means that we have been in adultery when moving from one relationship to the next.
There are people who have pictures, conversations and other items saved from past relationships, and even relive memories every now and then: this is being married to someone else. God’s word teaches us that any 2 who come together and engaged in sex, have knit their souls together and become one: soul tie. Being emotionally, physically or mentally engaged with someone of the present or past, makes it almost impossible for God to bring us someone else. If we decide to be with someone who has been separated from another, may we both know that they are truly separated and not harboring any sentiments in their hearts: may we not marry adulterers.
The second category are those who have issues with controlling their desires (wantonness). We all have natural inclinations and appetites, but when we do not guard our senses we can easily lust after things and people. This causes us to become adulterous as well. Jesus said whoever even looks at somebody with desire, is an adulterer. That person is in adultery because they are cheating on God with wantonness (desiring, yearning), instead of being content in Him and desiring Him. An adulterer is also someone who entertains thoughts of desire for others, while being in a relationship already. If simply looking at something makes us adulterers, then we must be very careful!
God hates divorce, and this heartless world does not believe that love is a sacrifice. It takes a lot of sacrifice, respect, commitment and unconditional acceptance to maintain healthy relationships. The final category, is hardened hearts. As selfish human beings, we look for reasons to break the agreement of marriage at any moment of despair, anger or discomfort: so what is the point of getting married in the first place? The Bible says divorce was created because of the condition of man’s heart, not because it was intended by God to even be an option.
A few seasons ago, God confronted me and I had to go through an “it’s not a problem for me, I will leave you” cleanse. The Lord made it very clear to me that if He was to give me a husband, that nasty mindset had to be changed. We must guard our hearts from becoming hardened because it ends relationships, regardless of emotions or history involved. God will not give us a husband or wife, if we will refuse to fight and sacrifice for the relationship. He knows we will run to divorce as if, it is the only option. Many today do not believe in marriage, are afraid of marriage and even look down on married people. But this is not of God, God does not desire for man to be alone.
Father God, I ask for forgiveness if I have been guilty of committing adultery against you and against my past relationships. I pray you would help us with guarding our hearts, in this area as well. Our carnal nature can be pretty greedy, filled with insatiable hunger and never ending thirst. May we be content with our portion, may we be satisfied in you. I pray for those who need to break soul ties, and as you to make a way when the entanglements seem impossible to break. And for those soul ties you have united, may you continue to cultivate their growth and maturity: may a desire and commitment for marriage develop in their hearts. I pray for those who have been divorced, and would like to remarry to free themselves of all ties whether physical, emotional or in the soul realm, in Jesus name. Amen.