To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 1 Corinthians 7:8-9
Commitment happens before intimacy.
Do you want to a significant other?
The truth about love and relationships is that some people want to be entertained: some desire sensual and emotional gratification: and others who intend to find a marriage partner. There are two terms to forming romantic relationships: dating and courting. Courtship is specific to those of monotheistic background (Christian, Muslim and Jews); it demonstrates faith and submission to God.
The similarity between dating and courting is that they both serve as a period of developing a friendship into a romantic relationship. Through both courting and dating processes, the couple start the process of getting to know each other by spending time together, communicating in person, through e-mails, texts, letters, and phone calls.
What is the difference between dating and courting?
- Courtship starts with going to God in prayer with the intent of finding a spouse. Seeking God to direct and confirm (through the Scriptures, through God approved authority figures or promptings of the Spirit) who do date and when.
- Courtship is getting to know each other to be married. The individuals have been prepared to be husband/wife, submitted to God’s divine purpose and to His word.
- Courtship involves other people. It’s been said that when we marry someone, we marry their family as well. Courtship says to spend time with family members, friends and church members because it holds both individuals accountable for their actions: hanging out alone, can leave the holiest person into sin (let’s not give way to the flesh).
Courtship is not dating, because it is getting to know someone with the intent to marry them: while dating is done for any reason, i.e. even friends go on dates. It is a willful decision to seek God’s will, instead of making independent decisions according to our logic. But dating is what is normally practiced by the world, it does not submit to pastors, parents or to God’s will (His plans, nor His word).
- Courting: be involved with romantically, typically with the intention of marrying.
- Date: go out with (someone in whom one is romantically or sexually interested).
There is a greater risk in skipping God’s direction when it comes to relationships: dating may not result as expected. It is possible that the relationship is secluded, or independent from the protection of parental or pastoral guidance. It is almost guaranteed that those who enter a relationship by dating will enter into sexual immorality: there is no guidance or counsel, nor accountability which can all be found in courting. The bible warns us about sexual activity outside of marriage, but it also advises that if we do not have the proper self control then we should get married.
And of course, choosing a mate is not like a simple walk across the park. We must be diligent in prayer, and open towards God’s leading.
Lord God Almighty, All Powerful and Invincible God. I come before you, honestly at a lost of words. You know the ways you have us take, and as Job declared we will come forth as gold. I present to you each intimate and romantic relationship, whether they are friends, new courting couples, dating relationships, fiancées or couple in marriages: Lord Jesus give us the power we need to remain out of sexual sin, help us continue to pursue you regardless of any possible falls, and give us the grace we need to develop strong fundamentals in order to maintain happy and successful marriages. I pray you break the chains and destroy the walls that are hindering or damaging our relationships, and I ask you to develop in our partners mutual desires and cause the necessary deliverances and healings. Keep us from falling into desperation, promiscuity or into the selfishness of lust. In Jesus name, Amen.