Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools get in trouble. Proverbs 13:20
Associate yourself with people of good quality, for it is better to be alone then in bad company.
Booker T. Washington
The Bible says a good friends sticks closer than a brother. Chemistry clicks, but real friendship looks like something… I can count my real friends with one hand… you only need a few good people on your side. It’s about time we recognize where our relationships stand, I love everyone and so should you… but not every-one is your friend.
I have had my fair share of friendships, but I do not consider everyone my friend. I expose certain things about myself, which make people think that they are my friend: meanwhile, I don’t. A good friend will love you for who you are, and fight battles with you, so this person is someone YOU go to. In order to choose a good friend, you must observe what they do, and discern (or ask) why they do them. If you must create a checklist for yourself (I think we all should), it would look something like this:
- they offer unconditional support
- they make sure they are PRESENT in the moment with you and listen
- they choose to love you, not out of compulsion or because the bible says to (lol)
- they enjoy our company and vice versa
- they are loyal to you, they stick with you through the good and the bad, and they know to forgive
- they want to make us smile and/or make our day better
- they accept you, flaws and all
- they are not jealous or envious of you or your life
- they are non-judgment, trustworthy, considerate, kind and respectful
- sensitivity about our feelings, but are also honest, and sincere (even when it hurts)
Growing up my mom gave me some advice on friendships: you can tell who somebody is, by who their friends are & never pay attention to what people say about themselves. We all hope to be in relationships that last a whole lifetime, but not many people think about anything other than themselves. Friends come and go in our lives: some are for a lifetime and others are for only a season. I have had friends who only cared for me because they were bored with their own lives, and wanted something to do. I have had other friends who have used me to shop, eat or travel. And I have also had friends who take all that I could give, and I have to walk away when I see my efforts and love were taken for granted.
I woke up this morning asking God why I lost friendships over wrong conclusions, I sat there and wondered why did He not simply show those people what actually happened and not what their mind concluded… but I have accepted that things had to be that way. God knows who He wants our friends to be, especially if you are praying to be wiser, stronger and in His will: He wanted me to be a better person. I understand now that if I had remained friends with those individuals, I may not be who I am today. And because we are heavily influenced by our close friends, we must pay attention who we spend our time and energy with. Side note: Not only do we subconsciously begin to imitate their habits, but we begin to look alike! I get that a lot about 2 friends of mine, who I look nothing like. What I do know is that we shared a bond, which could not easily broken. And while doing so, the soul ties we build made it easy to adopt their behaviors, and mannerisms and even their way of thinking.
Although we have lost friendships in the past, due to no fault of our own, I believe God gives us the friends who would be part of our future and destiny.
Lord God, Today I present our futures and destinies to you. May you continue to heal us from past hurts, and give us the wholeness we need to build new relationships. May you break old soul ties, and renew in us a Spirit of love and wisdom. May you solidify those friendships which are ordained to ride with us through the end, and we give you permission to shake the flakes away. In Jesus name, Amen.