He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22
You get in life, what you have the courage to ask for.
How do we know if God wants us to marry and how do we know who is the right person anyhow? We must be equally yoked… but that’s only one detail. We must use God’s revealed will to decide! God’s revealed will is the Word, the Bible, the Holy Scriptures.
Choosing to do our own will, ends up robbing us of our joy in the Lord. Although some are able to repent, and run for their lives not all, have the will to repent. We may lack the faith to believe that God’s will is good, pleasing and perfect and find ourselves in relationships, which God never intended for us.
Marrying an unbeliever is not biblical, so it is not God’s will for His children. But this is not all that the scriptures mean when they read, to not be unequally yoked. It is not God’s desire that we settle for any Christian person. Anybody can come to church, read the Bible and pray.
None of of us is perfect. We all need to develop godliness in our lives: you deserve somebody who commits to growing in godly character. The fruit of the Spirit is necessary for every one! We must all work on developing godly characteristics: love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, faith, kindness, and self control (Galatians 5:19-23).
A true disciple of Christ, and marriage material, is someone who is committed to Jesus Christ. Commitment to Christ is denial of the self, on a daily basis to obey His word. Someone who seeks God in prayer, submits His flesh and seeks to do God’s will (obeys the scriptures), is a good potential. If you are committed to developing yourself, and growing spiritually; you should surround yourself with others who partner with God to do the work of renewing their mind. Why would you settle for anything less?
Knowing God, and experiencing His love is the best comparison checklist to choosing a mate. If the person you are dating doesn’t treat you with respect, gentleness, unconditional love or demonstrate a sense of humility when things get ugly between you two…. then they are not Christ like: don’t marry them. Companionship depends on liking someone: attraction and compatible personality. A person can be good looking, yet be codependent, violent or ego driven. Marriage does not fix loneliness, depression, anxiety, laziness, lust or arrogance. Many relationships are destroyed by unhealed wounds from childhood: codependency: name calling: blame: uncontrolled anger: violence: disrespect: bitterness: accusations: competition: and so much more!
This is relevant to all Christians, and all people who desire to be in a long lasting relationship: seek godliness.
Lord God, we thank you for being our ABBA, father. Thank you for being our teacher, our comforter and counselor. We ask you to continue working in us, and show us the things we need to change, the areas where we need to invite you, and those which we need to release. May we become the godly people you desire Lord. Thank you. In Jesus name, Amen.